DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WARNING SIGNS
- Domestic Violence is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence.
- Other terms for domestic violence include intimate partner violence, battering, relationship abuse, spousal abuse, or family violence.
Domestic abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, income, or other factors, but very few seek help as it is often overlooked, excused, or denied. Recognizing and acknowledging the signs of an abusive relationship is the first step to ending it. No one should live in fear of the person they love. If you recognize the following warning signs, reach out...There is help available.
Does Your Partner:
- Embarrass, humiliate or insult you?
- Have a bad and unpredictable temper?
- Threaten, intimidate, or scare you; or threaten to kill you?
- Physically assaults you and/or your children?
- Tell you what you can do, who you can see or talk to, or where you can go?
- Refuse to allow you to see your friends or family?
- Keeps you isolated?
- Control your finances or refuse to give you money?
- Controls your schedule, limit social interaction?
- Limit your access to a phone, credit cards and/or a car?
- Is in charge of all the decision making?
- Threaten to take away or hurt your children?
- Threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
- Prevent you from having gainful employment?
- Portrays narcissist behavior or deny abusing you?
- Destroys your personal and physical property?
- Threaten to harm or kill your pets?
- Shoves, slaps, chokes, throws objects, or hits you and/or your children?
- Blame you for their violent outbursts or abusive behavior?
- See you as personal property or sex object, rather than as a person?
- Act excessively jealous and possessive?
- Force you to have sex?
- Constantly checks your email, phone, social networking profiles?
The Five Forms of Domestic Violence
Inflicting or attempting to inflict physical injury (example: grabbing, pinching, shoving, slapping, hitting, biting, arm-twisting, kicking, punching, hitting with blunt objects, stabbing, shooting). Withholding access to resources necessary to maintain health (example: medication, medical care, wheelchair, food or fluids, sleep, hygienic assistance Forcing alcohol or other drug use).
Coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact without consent (example: marital rape, acquaintance rape, forced sex after physical beating, attacks on the sexual parts of the body, forced prostitution, fondling, sodomy, sex with others).
Attempting to undermine the victim' sexuality (example: treating him/her in a sexually derogatory manner, criticizing sexual performance and desirability, accusations of infidelity, withholding sex).
Instilling or attempting to instill fear (example: intimidation, threatening physical harm to self, victim, and/or others, threatening to harm and/or kidnap children, menacing, blackmail, harassment, destruction of pets and property, mind games, stalking). Isolating or attempting to isolate victim from friends, family, school, and/or work (example: withholding access to phone and/or transportation, undermining victim's personal relationships, harassing others, constant "checking up,” constant accompaniment, use of unfounded accusations, forced imprisonment).
Undermining or attempting to undermine victim sense of worth (example: constant criticism, belittling victim's abilities and competency, name-calling, insults, put-downs, silent treatment, manipulating victim's feelings and emotions to induce guilt, subverting a partner's relationship with the children, repeatedly making and breaking promises).
Making or attempting to make the victim financially dependent (example: maintaining total control over financial resources including victim's earned income or resources received through public assistance or social security, withholding money and/or access to money, forbidding attendance at school, forbidding employment, on-the-job harassment, requiring accountability and justification for all money spent, forced welfare fraud, withholding information about family running up bills for which the victim is responsible for payment).
Source: New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence